What in the world is pu’ki’ you’re probably asking? Well, if I spell it phonetically (as best as I know how) it would probably be something like “puhkih”. What this all about?
This morning I went to a local coffee shop near campus and was very tempted to get a muffin with my coffee, so I ask the nice gentlemen at the counter “Hi, can you tell me what kind of muffins you have?” After enumerating the muffins, the last one was:
-”Pu’ki’”
-”I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get the last one, can you repeat the last one again?”
So he goes through all the muffins again, and again end with:
-”Pu’ki’”
-”Uhm, I’m sorry, I’m a little hard of hearing, what was the last one again”?
-”Puu’kiii’ ” – slightly exasperated the gentleman says.
-”I have no idea what that is, I’m sorry”
The polite gentleman repeats again: “Pu’ki’”, and my continuing puzzled look prompts his colleague to exclaim “Pu’ki’, you know like pu’ki’ pie”. “Oooooooh, PUMPKIN!” I exclaim – “I understand now, thanks” – followed with some very puzzled looks like “that’s what we’ve been saying all along”. Uhm…no. That’s not quite what you were saying. LOL! So I got my coffee, and walked out with a little grin, going over what had just transpired. Too funny!

Yep!  I got married!   Most of this year, I was mostly unavailable or MIA or out of town.  If I wasn’t on the East Coast, then my [now] wife was here in the Mid West.  And if I was home, I was probably on the phone or on Skype with her.  We got married on August 15th of this year (2009).  I’ve changed and grown up a lot in the past year.  For one, I lost 90lbs (no, my wife never asked me to), eliminated 95% of my beer intake, which helped tremendously with my weight loss and gout flare-ups, fell in love and didn’t want to be alone anymore.  I seized the moment and proposed in July.  We had about 6 weeks to plan our wedding.  We went back and forth on the type of wedding, and in the end, my incessant whining led to a “traditional wedding” of just over 100 guests.  Planning a wedding in 5-6 weeks is a lot of work!  Just running around to find a banquet hall which is affordable, has good food, and looks good (so you won’t be embarrassed when your guests show up) takes a very long time.  There’s Google, there’s word of mouth, there’s meeting with banquet hall managers and there’s food tastings.  Believe me, you’ll *want* to do a food tasting.  Don’t always trust what people tell you about the food.  Taste it for yourself.  If you’re not completely satisfied with the food and venue, neither will your guests be – oh yeah, and they’ll probably talk about how crappy the food was on Facebook for months after!   I must say we were very impressed with the food at the venue we’ve selected, and if you were one of our guests, then I can confidently say that you probably found something good to eat and drink at our wedding.

Then there are the details like D.J., Photographer, Flowers, Cake, Tuxedos, Dresses, Groomsmen, Bridesmaids.  Then there are extra details like the floral arrangements on the tables, what kind of tablecloths or seat covers you’re going to choose, the guestbook, the invitations – oh, and don’t get me started with the invitations.  I cannot believe how expensive they are to have a company do them for you!  We tried to be as thrifty as we could and went to Michael’s, found invitations to match our color scheme and I printed them out at home, stuffed the envelopes and sent them out.

We bought our own vases for the tables, and one of our friends offered to do our flowers as a wedding gift.  That saved us a lot of money.  Tip #2: get your flowers at Costco if you can.  You wouldn’t believe how cheap and nice the flowers are at Costco.  If you know someone that’s good with crafts and flowers, ask them to help out – it will save you a ton of money.

The D.J. … well there’s not that much you can do here, except if you know someone or have friend with equipment.  Otherwise, you’ll just have to pony-up.

Photographer.  These guys can be *really* expensive.  From the research I’ve done, a price tag of $3k-$5k isn’t unusual for the whole day.

Taste your wedding cake.  Go around to some bakeries, and ask them for samples of their wedding cake.  Many bakeries make the glazing too rich and buttery or too salty or too sweet and too salty.  If you’re not satisfied with the sample, don’t get the cake.  If you go to a more expensive place with a better quality cake, just get a simpler design and go with the better quality cake.  People won’t remember what you’re cake looked like, but they’ll remember if it sucked.

I could probably write a few pages on all the details and phone calls, and running around we did, but in the end we had a wonderful time, we were happy with all aspects of our reception and ceremony, and we’d like to thank all of you for your generous gifts and happy thoughts.

We’ve been kinda slow with pictures; I know some of you got a little preview of some of the photos, but we haven’t even collected the proofs from our photographer yet – we’ve been a little busy with this and that, but hopefully a wedding album will be up on my site soon and I will post about it.

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I wrote anything on my blog, but it turned out that this was probably one of the busiest years of my life

More to come!

Aerosmith had the right idea.  It is our emotions which shape our personalities, mold and model them, give them spice (or not).  It is our emotions which lead us to fall in love or recall with fondness or anger certain moments in our lives.  Anger, love, joy, sadness – emotion.  Without them we would be similar to my little Roomba vacuum cleaner and would just perform the same menial tasks every day just to ensure our existence.  Sometimes we say things when we’re emotional – perhaps some things we regret, other things may not make all that much sense when we really sit down and think logically about about it.  I think the type of emotion we’re feeling when we say things under the influence of emotion are important.  For example, under the influence of a negative emotion we may tell someone off or be mean to them or even tell them things we know will hurt them – perhaps because we felt that they’ve hurt us.  These are what I believe to be forced expressions.  On the other side of the coin, there are things we express or say under the influence of positive emotions – love, joy, happiness, serenity; perhaps we promise the world when influenced by our endorphins, or perhaps we say we want something or want to do another which aren’t practical (when thinking logically) at that point in time; I believe these to be natural expressions, things which are in our hearts and on our minds, things we really want/want to do, but are being held back or delayed when our logic switch is flipped on again.  I think it is these wants, these dreams, these desires we should hang on to and not discount them.  These are the things that will make us happier in life when coupled with our logical side and timed at the right moment/place/time.

So I thought it was time to re-do my website. I was getting a little bored with the old one – even though I really did like the way it looked – I was ready for a change. I’ve been reading and playing around on my wife’s WordPress blog and I really liked it. It gave me the idea of using WordPress for myself. I like the archiving and categorization that wordpress allows, and I also wanted a facility for comments for my posts. I had a guestbook on my old site, but it wasn’t really the same as this. I’m still playing with the customizations a little, and it may take me some time before I figure out what graphic I want to use for this site, as well as some logo of somekind. Suggestions are welcome!

This is my first attempt at wordpress.  I’m still figuring things out, so expected changes

Sometimes things happen in one’s life which are so fast and intense, they’re terrifying.  Not only because of the speed and intensity, but because of the realization that this may be one of the best things that has happened in one’s life, and then you are terrified of losing it; you question and hope that it’s strong enough to survive an at-times rocky start, and whether it can stand strong in the face of any external factors.  Happiness should not be built on the misery of others, and perhaps some have a hard time accepting your decisions and perhaps question whether they are made in haste.  Perhaps those around you sometimes panic even more than you yourself.  Ultimately people around you have to respect your decisions and those that truly care for you will do so.  Change is a scary thing, and those around you need not feel a sense of abandonment.  To change everything about a person’s world can make some feel like a cornered animal…fearful, defenseful, encroached upon.  With time, reassurance and better understanding helps people to come out of the corner and make friends.  I’ve learned that the difference between thinking you know a person from casual conversation – or seemingly deep philosophical conversations is just veneer.  Smoke and mirrors.  An illusion, and to think otherwise is foolish.  It takes a whole other level of conversation, of bearing of mind and soul, of vibrating on the same wavelength – not just in an academic sense.  Sometimes people misjudge others, and that causes pain and loss of trust.  Trust is not an easy relationship to rebuild.  It takes time and sincerity.  It is especially important to rebuild when those in question share a common belief system, a common hope and dream, a kinship which is supposed to transcend mistrust, misunderstanding and fear.  Alas we are all imperfect people and some say too much, some say them at the wrong time, some say both of the above.  Indeed we are complicated as a race – humankind.  Our emotions drown out logic, no matter how sure we are that is not the case.  Who is able to think objectively when it comes to those whom we care about?

Sub un cer albastru pictat cu norișori pastel

Sub un soare blând care-i mângâie fața cu tandrețe

Se-ntinde un drum negru și lucios

Clătinându-se de aici, acolo.

Ușor.  Nu tare.  Doar cât să-l alinte incetișor.

La dreapta-i se rostogolesc valuri albastre cu spuma lor albă

Degajând o miasmă sărată într-o adiere dulce a brizei

Unei mări vechi și înțelepte.

Inima-i bate și  e copleșit de ce-i privesc ochii.

Se oprește și suspină.  Respiră adânc.

Își lasa capul pe spate și se lasă mângâiat pe față

De soarele plin cu tandrețe pe fața-i posomorâtă.

Dintr-o data nu mai…

Nu mai are nici o grijă.

E beat, dar nu-i băut.

Privește cu ochii in jurul său

Și pentru un moment e fericit;

Pentru un moment…

There is a certain mixture and intertwining of cliché and pain, the ever present battle of good vs. evil, the plight and struggle of the poor, being abused and taken advantage of by the rich and privileged.  What am I talking about? The story the movie Slumdog Millionaire.  Yes, I’ve finally made it out to the movie theatres to see it yesterday.  I liked it.  And I give the writer credit for making such a cliché story, one that has been written, played and filmed dozens of times over, so captivating and interesting.  Even the switching of the storyline between past/future to explain events isn’t anything new.  The movie was essentially based on a turnkey solution, but what I believe made it so captivating was what the story was actually about – a story which mainstream America is still unfamiliar with: the horrific conditions in which people in the slums of the rest of the world live in, and they aren’t specific to India – you can find such slum cities in Brazil, China, and all over major African cities.  It was so powerful to the rest of the western world because we just aren’t used to seeing something so cruelly real; the ghettos of America, Canada, Germany, Norway, or France are nothing like what that scenery depicted, and as bad as we think our ghettos are and as bad as we think our crime rates and poverty are, we don’t even come close to what was depicted in Slumdog Millionaire.

With elements ranging from classic Bollywood, and mainstream American cinema, sprinkled with lines from Clark Gable movies, the movie not only brings drama but captivates you, pulls you in and makes you feel Jamal’s emotion, fear, love, hate, and despair.  And while the story is seemingly one story throughout the movie, there are what appear to be several micro stories: the story of the slum, the plight of the poor people in it, the religious discrimination the Muslims faced from the Hindus, the overall story of Salim and Jamal growing up, “dodging bullets” and surviving, the love story which develops between Latika and Jamal, the story of the world of gangsters and their abuses and exploitations – the dark gritty world of child prostitution, and exploitation, of murder and torture, the story about the relationship of the two brothers – one honest and timid, but full of heart when necessary and righteous indignation, the other thirsty for power and money who betrays his younger brother several times, but in the end feeling his conscience bother him and heroically risking his own life for that of his younger brother, and eventually dying in order to make things right for two lives which he had cause so much pain.  There are also two more stories, seemingly of less significance, but which caught my attention more-so than the previous ones: the story of the game show host – his smugness and distaste turning to jealousy and anger, and the finally the story of the relationship between the abusive police detective with his henchmen and Jamal.  It’s interesting how feelings of the antagonists toward our protagonist develop and change and in the end oppose each other.  The game show host in the beginning was slightly amused by the slumdog, slightly smug but didn’t yet hate him; contrasted with the detective who hated our hero, subjecting him to torture from the beginning “guilty until proven innocent” is classically depicted in the police micro-story.  The detective, as the plot unravels starts to like him, and while he may not understand him, sympathizes with him, and even provides a police escort to take Jamal back to the second day of the show, while our game show host’s contempt and hatred grows, he becomes jealous that this educated slumdog who reminds him of himself is getting his shot and fame and riches much easier than the host who probably had to toil through menial jobs for years to make his fortune and fame.  These two stories which appear to be side-stories, filler footage, I believe have an incredibly powerful message.  You would expect that the host of the show would be more sympathetic toward the protagonist because of their similar pasts; he is able to understand much better what Jamal is going through and went through and how hard it is to get ahead in the world or just to simply survive when one comes from “that side of the tracks”; you would think that he would treat Jamal as “one of his own”, instead our hero got more sympathy and understanding from the policeman, who obviously didn’t grow up in the slums – and our proof of this fact is that he couldn’t understand Jamal, and was completely out of tune to what was going on in the slums, and how to obtain information from “it” – case and point is the stolen bicycle from the city official – the detective didn’t know who stole it, but Jamal, and “the entire slum” knew.

In the end the guy gets the girl, the older brother dies a martyr while killing the bad guy, and oh yeah…Jamals rich too!  One of the little clichés in the movie which can probably be taken as more of a reward at the end of a very sad story.

Every person has different has a need to create and expresses himself in different ways.  Anything really that you thought of is your creation; it doesn’t mean it’s unique, because out of over 6 billion people, chances are high that 2 people will think alike – but it’s *your* idea, and it’s your creation, and it’s your thought, and *you* have a need to express it.  It also doesn’t mean that you’ll create some work of genius, or come up with some earth-shattering wisdom; this is not always important – creating, even something as insignificant or minuscule as a blog on your web page is cathartic and satisfies the soul.  Some people can do this through painting, and others like to blab.  But how can someone express themselves without fuel?  Without the proper stimulus?  Drawing on past experiences will only get you so far before you’ve said it all.  I’m definitely one for going out in the woods and writing the best prose of your life, or writing a knock-out novel, being the next Ansel Adams in the wilderness of Yosemite; to do all this you at some point need intelligent human interaction.  Oh sure, you get intelligent interaction with your co-workers discussing what the next hottest filesystem is, or analyzing the new model of the flux capacitor, and while, yes, creative processes are functioning when you’re at work in order to solve problems – this is creativity you’re being asked or told to regurgitate.  You do it because you need some food in your stomach, and a warm blanket over you and your Serta mattress, and if you’re lucky you might even get some enjoyment out of it, but there isn’t a job in the world that can grant you the same satisfaction of creativity as the kind you’re impelled to express of you own free will.  And this is the kind of interaction I’m referring to; the kind with like-minded individuals who fuel your free thinking and you fuel theirs.  It’s refreshing to be able to have an intelligent, analytical conversation with a friend when all parties involved enjoy the particular subject, be it music, art, poetry, or anything.

The past year of my life cannot be described as busy – it would be an understatement.  I have been busier and more involved with my secular work than I have ever been so far in my carreer.  It’s good and it’s bad.  The good is obvious (to me), but the bad is the burn-out.  I’m burning out and I don’t like it.  You don’t feel like doing anything after you’ve come home from work with your brain having been smoldering all day, much less be creative, debate, analyze or discuss anything, and this dumbs you down and has a negative effect on your mental being.  You even start to get discouraged, believing that your creative juices have dried up and shriveled like a prune, and that you’ll never see them or feel them again.  But fear not, for the faucet is close-by and the handle ever-so-easy to turn – we just forget sometimes where the kitchen is, or are too tired to go to it.

Today I had a pleasant conversation with a friend of mine, and we talked about poetry and music, and we analyzed songs and poems, and talked about life, etc – just nice and relaxed conversation, and but look!  The faucet is leaking once more, and I’m happy for it.  In fact I had to rush downstairs after I took a shower to turn on my laptop so I wouldn’t forget what was coming to my mind to write, and here I am writing once more.  Yes, it’s probably insignificant to the world, but it makes me feel good, and helps with my catharsis – and I’m not alone, all you bloggers and writers out there :-)

Proof-reading’s a bear.  Just ran a spell checker and proof read a couple of my last post and corrected some mistakes.  I guess when you’re caught up in writing something it’s easy to loose track of spelling errors and typos.
I’ve just about had it with this website editing software I use.  It’s nice site management interface is nice but for some reason it’s eating 100% of the processor when I use it and whatever I type lags behind on the screen by a few seconds.  Possibly why I have some many mistakes I haven’t caught…
Dentist appointment today knocked me out.  The doctor gave me twice the dose of anesthetic.  And I just had a couple of fillings that failed…