RIP Grandpa…

My grandfather, Milorad Lazin died on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008.  He was 86 years old.  He has suffered for a full 6 months and now it’s over. We buried him on Monday January the 7th.  He is survived by his wife (my grandmother) of 61 years, a son, and a grandson.

Things have quited down in my life now and my stress levels are down a little.  In the past few weeks I’ve been trying to spend a lot of time at home just to rest, and decompress and chill out.  The weather in Michigan is crummy as usual, and it’s dark and dingy and wet…shall I go on?  Probably not.  This is why a Florida trip is just what the doctor ordered.  I’m planning on going down very soon, so I’m quite excited about that.
I’ve recently reconnected with an old friend from my teenage years – the closest thing I had to a little sister and a dear friend – at the time, my best friend.  I’ve missed her along the years because she was one of the very few people who tried to understand me, was a great listening ear, always and always had a kind word to say; my friend, the aspiring writer as I will refer to her to respect her privacy.  Today I got to meet her husband – great guy, and her best friend who is very nice – ‘sup Idaho?!  Today however while reminiscing about childhood years and pleasant memories I inadvertently broke the chains that held down an ugly and putred beast deep in the ocean of my mind – possibly one of the worst periods of my life.  Unfortunately like a cancer, the few good memories I had were woven in a web of bad ones and so it seems my mind has blocked out large chunks of that period of my life which unfortunately includes some good and pleasant memories.  While chatting with my friends today over coffee I realized that I don’t remember large parts of the times my aspiring writer friend and I hung out.  She says we’ve seen many movies together…I only remember one.  My mom tells me we used to hang out a lot.  I remember bits and pieces.  It’s a very empty and defeating feeling not to be able to remember large pieces of your past.  Very empty.  What’s more frustrating is that I seem to be more readily able to recall the bad memories.  Why can’t I remember all the good times I had with my best friend but I can remember and the garbage that I don’t really want to remember?  Now it’s late and I’m very sleepy.  Work tomorrow and then the joys of visiting my dentist